Discover the power of mastering your true self. By understanding your values, habits, and mindset, you can take full control of your life, make choices that align with your happiness, and unlock the confidence to shape your own path — because real change starts from within.
WORDS FAITH FOO
 FEATURED EXPERTFAITH FOO Director of Faith Foo Counseling Director of The Bridge International Hub (Korean Counseling Centre) Registered & Licensed Counsellor Certified EMDR Therapist Certified Coaching & Mentoring Professional HRD Corp-Certified Trainer Published Author Website | Facebook | YouTube |
THE VOICE INSIDE OUR HEAD
Most of us live in a constant state of reactivity, pushed and pulled by our thoughts and emotions. We’re controlled by a voice in our head that:
- Worries about everything that can go wrong
- Criticizes us for everything that we have done wrong
- Feels guilty or angry about everything that went wrong
This voice interprets every situation instantaneously, and we don’t question it, just like we don’t question our breathing. It happens unconsciously, and we feel and act based on the voice’s interpretation.
The truth is that everyone has a voice in their head, including you. Some people’s voices are nicer than others, but everyone’s voice tends to have the same dysfunction.
THE GOOD NEWS
Here’s the good news, perhaps the best news anyone can ever hear: that voice is not who you are!
For some, this might be the first time you’ve heard this or truly understood it. If you’ve ever argued with yourself, noticed yourself thinking about something ridiculous, or talked to yourself in your mind, then you’ve experienced that there are two aspects of you.
- One aspect is aware of your thoughts, emotions, and reactions.
- One aspect does the thinking, feeling, and reacting
You are that awareness.
You are the presence that witnesses the voice.
You are not the voice itself.
Knowing this important point allows you to observe what your inner voice is doing and thinking.
This is called self-mastery or self-awareness.
Many people live much of their lives on autopilot, feeling like they have little control over their thoughts, emotions, or lives. The truth is, unless you know what you’re thinking and feeling, you have no way of changing it.
You wake up from the dream. The process of developing this awareness is called mindfulness.
MINDFULNESS
The Benefits of Mindfulness
- Unlock the power to direct your inner voice
- Unleash the ability to choose better-feeling emotions
- Empower yourself to make better decisions
How to Practice Mindfulness
- Start by listening to the voice in your head as often as you can. Pay particular attention to any thoughts that tend to repeat themselves.
- Be the observer of what is happening inside you, both at the surface and the depths. Imagine yourself as a lake and see if you can find and feel the deep calm at the bottom of the lake, even when the surface is rough.
As you practice mindfulness and observe your thoughts and reactions, you’ll recognize more clearly that the true you is the presence doing the observing.
When you notice yourself feeling angry, you’ll observe that the angry part and the part observing it are not the same thing. They are not your true self.
SO, WHAT’S YOUR TRUE SELF?
That is the part of you that is at peace, content, safe, and joyful, no matter what is going on around you. Your higher self is untouchable and unshakeable.
Your true self never becomes disrupted or entangled in surface-level dramas.
Knowing it’s always there means you can seek to find it at any moment.
Just like when the sun dips below the horizon, you know it still exists even though you cannot see it. This calm, peaceful presence that is you is always there, even if you cannot see or feel it in the moment.
CULTIVATING SELF-MASTERY
As you begin to pay attention with curiosity to discover what your inner voice is up to, you’ll notice interesting things such as:
- When you’re behaving in alignment with your goals and values, and when you’re not
- When you’re smiling even though you’re sad
- When you say you’re fine, even though you’re not
- When you’re pretending to be mad in order to influence someone else’s behaviour
- When you’re thinking negative thoughts about yourself and making yourself feel insecure
- When you’re feeling relaxed and happy
The doorway to all self-mastery and awareness is the present moment.
By staying present and observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment, you can develop greater self-awareness and control over your inner world.
| This article is part of our series on mental wellness. |
