Emotional vampires are those who feed off attention and emotions, both good and bad ones, from the people around them. Some will call them drama queens, while others may use the term “narcissists” and “professional victims”. If you are one of them, here’s how to quit the drama before you drive away the people around you!
WORDS LIM TECK CHOON
 FEATURED EXPERTCATHIE WU MA Coun Psy (CAN, USA) Counselling Psychologist and Director ABRI Integrated Mental Health |
THE EMOTIONAL VAMPIRE
Marissa has problems forming long-lasting relationships. She claims that it’s because no one understands her; she’s a very giving person who is always being taken advantage of by unscrupulous people.
Her issue becomes evident when one knows her better. Marissa always has a major life crisis, which becomes the focus of every conversation with her. She also shares her insecurities, fears, and concerns with the people around her, all the while brushing aside suggestions from others on how to improve her situation. Her friends quickly distance themselves from her because her company leaves them feeling emotionally drained.
People like Marissa are known as emotional vampires — those who feed off attention and emotions (both good and bad) from the people around them. Some will call them drama queens, while others may use the term ‘narcissists’ and ‘professional victims’.
HERE’S HOW TO DRIVE A STAKE INTO THE ISSUE
Be Mindful of Boundaries
“It’s your right to share and want to be heard,” says Cathie Wu, “but others also have a right to not have their personal space constantly be invaded.”
Walk a Mile in the Other Person’s Shoes
- Empathy is a virtue when it comes to forming and nurturing emotionally fulfilling relationships.
- Cathie Wu shares that empathy can be cultivated when you take a moment to imagine how it may be like if you were in the other person’s position.
- With empathy, you will be able to become more aware and responsive to how the people around you perceive you. It also helps you to connect with these people’s feelings.
Learn to Suspend Judgement
- Don’t be so quick to assume the best or the worst of a person or a situation.
- Instead, listen and pay more attention; avoid making impulsive sweeping generalizations and coming up with drastic solutions.
Realize That It Is Never okay to Diminish Another Person for Your Own Gain
- Many, although not all, emotional vampires suffer from self-esteem issues, hence the continual craving for validation and attention as well as the frequent need to be right.
- To overcome this, it is important to also consider the needs and interests of the other person.
It will take some time to make the abovementioned tips into a regular habit, and there will be some lapses along the way.
However, with empathy and a determination to improve your relationships with other people as well as some assistance from a therapist, if necessary, you will eventually arrive at a more emotionally rewarding place in life!
| This article is part of our series on mental wellness. |
