A counsellor sheds light on the urgent need to break mental health stigma. No one should feel ashamed to seek help—because support, not silence, is the key to healing and well-being.
WORDS FAITH FOO
 FEATURED EXPERTFAITH FOO Director of ABRI Integrated Mental Health Director of The Bridge International Hub (Korean Counseling Centre) Registered & Licensed Counsellor Certified EMDR Therapist Certified Coaching & Mentoring Professional HRD Corp-Certified Trainer Published Author Website | Facebook | YouTube |
I remember the Indonesian part-time office cleaner asking me this question: “What is the nature of business you guys are doing here?”
When I explained to her what we do, her response was “Oh, macam bomoh dalam kampung saya lah!” (“Oh, like the witch doctor in my village!”)
I laughed my head out, hearing her interpretation. However, this is how people still perceive the mental health profession.
I have heard from many of my young adult clients of how their parents do not support them when it comes to seeking help for their mental health issues. Some of their parents even forbid them to do so.
These parents typically say:
- “Why do you need to see a counsellor? There’s nothing wrong with you, you just need to stop thinking so negatively.”
- “Why do you need to talk to an outsider, why can’t you talk to us?”
- “You don’t need help; you just need to go out and find a job!”
Most people still think that seeing a counsellor means you are just too weak, you just making up your own issues, or you are making things more complicated.
You can see how most people must hide the fact that they are seeking help due to the fear of being judged.
A DISABLING STIGMA
Recently, a client shared with me her experience of seeing a psychiatrist.
When she brought up her complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD), the psychiatrist laughed at her and scoffed. “Childhood trauma is all in the past so what is the issue now?”
The prejudice and discrimination against mental illness can prevent people from attaining their personal goals and dissuade them from pursuing effective treatment.
The desire to avoid public stigma causes individuals to drop out of treatment or avoid it entirely for fear of being associated with negative stereotypes.
This stigma influences the beliefs and behaviours of those closest to individuals with mental health issues, including family, friends, and colleagues.
HAVING A COUNSELLOR IS NOT A SIGN OF WEAKNESS
It’s Like Having a Mental Trainer!
In life, you are always taking new risks and facing challenges, and you want to be learning and growing all the time. A mental trainer gives you the mental and emotional support to stay in shape for yourself, your work, and your family.
You don’t stop training your body once you get fit. So why should you stop training your mind once you are in shape mentally and emotionally? That’s where the mental trainer comes in!
HOW TO SUPPORT SOMEONE THAT IS HAVING MENTAL ISSUES
Avoid Using Unhelpful Phrases
- Phrases such as “Suck it up!” are never helpful.
- In our daily lives, we can’t use our minds to make everything go away, otherwise, everyone would be awesome and lean and happy too!
- Likewise, phrases such as “Just stay positive!” or “Be grateful” are not best avoided because they are not helpful.
Most of us tend to have rose-tinted glasses when we are not depressed, which makes us more optimistic. However, studies have shown when we tend to be a lot more realistic when we are depressed and sometimes realism is heartbreaking.
Don’t Make It All About You
- Especially if they are deeply depressed, or suicidal.
- Avoid saying things such as “Am I not enough for you?” or “Haven’t I been helpful to you?”
The truth is, when someone is trapped in their personal hell, nothing is going to be enough or helpful for them. Saying these things will only increase their burden, making them experience guilt and shame for making you feel that way.
Don’t Tell Them That They Are Just Seeking Attention
You have no insight into what they are feeling, so you should never try to invalidate their emotions and thoughts.
| This article is part of our series on mental wellness. |
