When life leaves you hurt, frustrated, and ready to snap, it’s completely human — but acting on those impulses can cost you more than you think. Before anger takes the wheel, here’s how to deal with your hurt, manage your emotions, and find a healthier way through it.
WORDS LIM TECK CHOON
 FEATURED EXPERTCATHIE WU MA Coun Psy (CAN, USA) Counselling Psychologist and Director ABRI Integrated Mental Health |
FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER
Created with the mind of a simple, loving child, Frankenstein’s monster quickly discovers the fear people have of his large, hideous appearance, and how this fear quickly turns into violence.
Eventually, he snaps… with tragic consequences for both him and the ones he cares for.
DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’RE THE FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER?
Perhaps you identify with Frankenstein’s monster. Maybe you believe that the world has abused you so much that it is only right that you retaliate in kind.
Cathie Wu believes that there are other, more fulfilling ways to manage your emotions and find contentment in your life.
“Much of the ‘lashing out’ is often due to prolonged suppression and denial of one’s own needs,” she explains. “Negative feelings build up like gas in a bottle. When we force ourselves to swallow these feelings down for too long, we are basically screwing on a tight cap on the bottle. It’s bound to explode.”
Reflect on the Issues That Are Bothering You
- Then, evaluate how you can speak up and be heard.
- Things can only improve when you have the space and opportunity to openly discuss your emotions and circumstances.
Realize the Power of Forgiveness
- Lashing out can be cathartic — it feels good to be finally standing up for yourself — but this pattern of suppression and explosion is ultimately destructive, because your resentment will build over a prolonged period.
- Some mental health experts believe that the best thing you can do for yourself is to learn to move forward from these negative emotions.
- Forgiveness is a powerful force. Only by being able to forgive will it be easier to find inner peace, and with inner peace comes the ability to move past the festering darkness in your soul, to a happier and healthier place in life.
Hence, you should begin to forgive those who have hurt you.
Forgive yourself as well for any perceived sense of failure or weakness on your part.
After that, you will find the resolve and the strength inside you to move forward and do better.
It won’t always be easy to forgive, but a combination of some or all of the following options may help:
- Having a confidante to share your problems with
- Practice anger management skills
- Meditate
- Explore and embrace spiritual or religious beliefs
- Get support from a qualified mental healthcare professional
| Even broken in spirit as he is, no one can feel more deeply than he does the beauties of nature. The starry sky, the sea, and every sight afforded by these wonderful regions, seems still to have the power of elevating his soul from earth. Such a man has a double existence: he may suffer misery, and be overwhelmed by disappointments; yet, when he has retired into himself, he will be like a celestial spirit that has a halo around him, within whose circle no grief or folly ventures. ~ from Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein |
| This article is part of our series on mental wellness. |
