Category: Parenting

WORDS LIM TECK CHOON

TAKE FOLIC ACID

“Folic acid is very important for pregnant women. It can prevent abnormalities of the brain and central nervous system,” says Professor Dr Nazimah Idris, a consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist.

She recommends to start taking folic acid at least 3 months before getting pregnant, and to continue for at least 3 months into pregnancy. 

GET THE NECESSARY SHOTS, IF YOU HAVEN’T YET

Infections such as rubella can also produce structural abnormalities in the baby. However, with vaccination programmes in place, incidence of this is now very much reduced.

Diabetes though is a condition that, according to Prof Nazimah, is of great concern. Diabetic embryopathy refers to abnormalities in foetuses caused by high sugar levels in pregnant women and can cause abnormalities in the brain, gastric system, heart, skeletal system, and even the renal tract.

IF YOU HAVE AN EXISTING MEDICAL CONDITION, GET THEM UNDER CONTROL

Women with diabetes that are planning to have a baby should get their blood sugar levels under control. “High sugar levels are toxic to the baby. This is especially detrimental to the foetus in the first trimester, when it is developing and when organs are forming. If you are exposed to ‘toxins’ or teratogens when you’re forming, you won’t form very well,” says Prof Nazimah. 

It is imperative for someone who has diabetes, heart disease or hypertension to seek a doctor’s advice before getting pregnant, according to Prof Dr Nazimah.

Nonetheless, even for women that have no existing medical condition that they are aware of, Prof Dr Nazimah still urges them to visit a doctor, in order to examine any existing pregnancy risk factors and to get advice on how to ensure a safe delivery of a healthy baby. 

WORDS HANNAH MAY-LEE WONG

Scoliosis happens when the spine forms an abnormal sideways curve—usually in a C-shape or S-shape. People affected by scoliosis are most often diagnosed during their growth spurt years, usually between the ages of 10 to 17.

ARE HEAVY SCHOOL BAGS TO BLAME?

As scoliosis is usually diagnosed in a child’s schooling years, many parents mistakenly believe that heavy school bags are the cause of scoliosis. However, Dr Lim Sze Wei assures that this is only a myth.

He explains, “Research and medical reports have noted that there are no associations between the occurrence of scoliosis and heavy school bags.”

CAUSES OF SCOLIOSIS

In most cases, the exact cause of scoliosis is not known. That said, scoliosis is more common in people with genetic conditions such as cerebral palsy or muscular dystrophy. It is also more common in girls than boys, and in children who have siblings or close relatives with scoliosis.

SIGNS OF SCOLIOSIS

One of the most common signs of scoliosis is uneven shoulders, shoulder blades or hips. This can be observed if one shoulder or one side of the hip looks to be drooping below the other side.

“The head not being centered with the rest of the body is another common sign of scoliosis,” Dr Lim adds.

Parents can also do the Adam’s Forward Bend Test to check if their child has scoliosis. They can do so by asking their child to bend forward with both palms between the knees. Any imbalances in the rib cage or along the back could be a sign of scoliosis. If signs of scoliosis are observed, it is best to consult a doctor as soon as possible. 

TREATMENT

Treatment for scoliosis can range from non-surgical to surgical treatment options. A doctor would recommend a treatment plan according to the severity of scoliosis and the age of the patient. 

“For mild scoliosis cases, non-surgical treatment methods such as exercises or a wearing a scoliosis brace can help slow down or stop the progression of scoliosis.”

“However, these methods cannot fix the curvature in the spine. Patients will need to be monitored throughout their lives to ensure their condition does not worsen,” Dr Lim concludes.

WORDS LIM TECK CHOON

LET THE CHILD IN EARLY ON WHAT THEY CAN EXPECT AT SCHOOL, AND MAKE IT SEEM FUN AND EXCITING

One way to reduce your child’s separation anxiety, Dr Yong advises, is to let them know in advance what being in a classroom will be like.

“Make it sound exciting instead of fearful,” she says. “Use phrases such as ‘You are so lucky’ to reduce your child’s worries.”

SEND YOUR CHILD OFF AND BE THERE WHEN SCHOOL DAY IS OVER

If you drop your child off at school, do so at the same time every day if possible.

Also, Dr Yong advises being there early when picking up your child, so that they won’t have to wait all alone in a strange environment.

The same applies if your child takes a bus or private chartered vehicle to school. Send off your child when the vehicle arrives, and be there with a smile when your child gets out of the vehicle at the end of a school day.

This routine will let your child find comfort in knowing that Mommy or Daddy will always be there for them no matter what happens at school.

OFFER HUGS AND KISSES, BUT WITHOUT FANFARE.

You can ease your child’s separation anxiety at the start of the day by developing a simple goodbye ritual, such as a kiss on the cheek or a hug.

However, some children may take the opportunity to cry and act up when it’s time to be temporarily separated from their parents.

If your child does this, don’t cave in no matter how much your heart breaks to do so. Just calmly walk away once your child is safely in the care of their teacher.

Don’t worry—you likely won’t be causing great emotional distress in your child by leaving without fanfare. Dr Yong shares that some teachers had confided in her on how some teary-eyed children would quickly calm down and even get along well with other children shortly after their parents had left!

HOWEVER, A CAVEAT

If you notice after a few weeks that your child still resists going to school, or acts in other ways to suggest that their time at school wasn’t going well, these could be warning signs that your child may be subjected to bullying by their classmates or harsh treatment from the teacher.

You should make some discreet enquiries or consult the school principal to look further into this matter.

Negotiating with kids can result in a win-win situation.

Negotiations are part and parcel of the corporate world. A good discussion results in a win-win situation, an understanding that is mutually beneficial as it is binding. The benefits of bargaining can actually go beyond the boardroom, as something that can get moms and kids on the same page when it comes to things such as new purchases, homework and TV time.

Boardroom tactics

Ros Fajardo, mom to 9-year old Russ, put this into practice when they drew up a list of daily activities for the boy to follow during the school year. “We agreed that there will be no gadgets from Monday to Thursday. But, if he finishes his homework and [worksheets] before bedtime, he can have 30 minutes of playtime. I wanted to impress on him that time well managed means more time for play,” explains the key accounts manager.

She admits having an ulterior motive in asking for Russ’ help with the timetable. “Actually, there was no consensus really in the beginning. I just presented it so he’d buy into it. In my ranking of important activities, I prioritize academic performance, so I needed to put in place blocks of time per activity,” she shares.

Russ balked at the negotiation stage, grumbling about the chunk of time set aside for studying, but Ros held her ground. “Although a child may resent the [schedule], take away the routine and he’ll feel lost and out of his element. At this point of the negotiation, consistency is key. As a parent, you need to build your credibility,” she says. Her bottom line, more than getting high marks in school, was teaching a value. “I wanted to teach him, ‘Don’t expect life to be easy, so better be ready for it. Hard work will get you place. You cannot feel entitled to everything.”

What to haggle on

Opening the floor for discussion is encouraged by Winston Jerome Luna, vice president for academic affairs at St. Jerome School in Novaliches and St. Jerome Science Montessori in Caloocan, Philippines. “Involving kids [in] decision making [for] certain things that concern them gives them the ability to freely express and communicate their issues, feelings and dilemmas to the parent. In the long run, this open line of communication will serve as a solid foundation in the relationship between parent and child,” he says.

There are certain things that Winston says are non-negotiable: anything that concerns rules of law or health and safety are definitely off the table. “Leisure and rewards can be negotiated,” he adds, further stating that negotiable points include those that promote growth, challenge kids to be better people, make them productive and give them the energy for excellence.

Winston gives his own thoughts about creating a winning resolution when negotiating with a school-going child: “A win-win situation is a state where both parties are happy and agreeable. This can be achieved by setting the platform ahead of time. Kids should understand clearly what is [or isn’t] negotiable … Kids will understand and accept decisions that are non-negotiable and they would know as well when to ask for more or disagree on things.”

The bottom line is yours

Establishing open communication and boundaries at the same time can create a win-win setup. Maridel Saguil-Regala imprinted this fact early in her 4 children. “Even when they were toddlers, I would explain why I was doing certain things, like, I would put them on an elevated surface while I mopped the floors to make it clean enough for them to play on. I also told them that if they moved around too much, they will fall and hurt themselves,” she shares. This was her way of making them understand that what she does always has a reason – primarily, it’s to look out for them.

As they grew older, she says this openness has helped her set the tone for their discussions. She says, “If my 13-year old, for example, wants to go to the mall with her friends, and there are chores that need to be done in the house, she understands why those chores should come first.” Early training is important, because kids today have become experts at wheedling and cajoling, courtesy of what they see on TV. Parents have to listen to reason, but must stand firm on decisions, or else the kids will walk all over them.

Winston underscores the value of teaching kids to operate within some form of family democracy. “Negotiation plays an important role in life. The best negotiators are often the one who can get the best in any of their endeavours. If parents practice this at home, kids will have a bigger chance to succeed, since they’re trained to analyze and give their input at a young age. Training them in this aspect allows them to practice critical thinking and expand their understanding and reasoning abilities,” he explains.
Dialogues are now taking place in modern parenting, where kids can express their views, and parents allow for negotiations – but still have the final say. Think of it as training your kids to deal with conflict resolution with an open mind and diplomacy.

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Smart eating is all about eating right in order to lead a healthy lifestyle. It is also easier to do than most people think – even kids can do it with the right advice and support from their parents!

Now that the kids are off to school, parents should ensure that their children continue to eat healthily. You may be wondering, “My kids are in school! How can I watch over what they are eating?” Well, here are some tips to help parents like you get started.

Make time for breakfast

Breakfast recharges your children, restoring their energy and vital nutrients after a night of sleep. This means better learning and improved school performance. There is also less chances of them overeating during recess.

• Prepare meals in advance using simple ingredients that can be refrigerated and re-heated, if necessary, e.g. sandwiches.
• Stock-up some healthy breakfast food choices such as a cup of yogurt or small packet of milk, for a “grab and go” breakfast when your child is in a hurry.
• Cook in bulk during weekends and pre-packing them for easy preparation and consumption throughout the week. It takes only a short while to reheat the foods in the morning.
• If your children have problems waking up in time to catch their transportation to school, prepare their breakfast in a container for them to eat while on the way to school or before the school starts.

Help them get the most out of lunch

One of the challenges in shaping healthy eating habits among your children can be the type of foods being sold at the school canteen. Depending on the canteen, sometimes the foods sold may be high in fat and sugar content, for example fried foods and sweetened beverages. Soft drinks and sugary foods may also present an irresistible temptation to your children. You can help steer your children in the right direction via the following ways:

• Prepare and pack healthy snacks for children to bring to school instead of buying food at the school canteen.
• Teach them about healthy food choices so that they can select healthier options when buying canteen foods and choose the less healthy ones as an occasional treat. Some examples:
  • Cut down on deep-fried or oily foods as much as possible – instead of kari laksa, for example, go for meehoon sup.
  • Drink more plain water, and save sugary beverages for special moments.

Help them manage peer pressure

Ultimately, your children may end up eating unhealthily not because they want to, but because all their school friends are eating such foods. Here are some tips to help your children make healthy eating choices while still fitting in well with their friends. If you practice these tips early, your children may also find it easier to say no to smoking and other unhealthy habits when they are older.

• Always be open and communicative with your children. This way, they will be more willing to talk to you when their friends are asking them to do things that they are not comfortable with.
• Teach your children to say ‘no’ without feeling like the odd duck out. Instead of just saying no, have your child explain why he or she feels that way. It can be anything from a simple “I don’t like the taste!” to “Too much soft drink can make me fat.”
• Help build up your children’s self-esteem, to give them the confidence to say no to things they are uncomfortable with.
  • Be supportive and encouraging. You can kill two birds with one stone by leaving feel-good notes inside your children’s lunch boxes – it makes them feel better and gets them more interested in eating what you have prepared for them!
  • Let your children understand that it is normal to be a little different from everyone else. Therefore, it is perfectly fine to do things differently (for example, eating food from home during recess instead of buying canteen food). Help them understand that true friends will accept these differences and still love them for who they are.
  • Lead by example, and be a positive role model to your children. If they view you as confident, supportive and positive, they will most likely adopt the same attitude when it comes to food as well as life.

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